We’re heading down a rabbit-hole of pretty awful music this week - if you’re going to stick with this post, you’ll need to leave any thoughts of good taste behind. No mean and moody rock and roll here. No sweet soul music. You should be so lucky. Where we’re heading is less Route 66, Highway to Hell than the A453, single carriageway vaguely towards somewhere in the West Midlands. And Norway.
Blame Little Pete, for it was he who mentioned, I think Peter Taylor style tongue-in-cheek, that it is a source of enormous pride for him to know, that he and I are present on the toppermost poppermost solid gold hit that was “We’ve Got The Whole World In Our Hands.”
WGTWWIOH spent 6 weeks on the UK chart, peaking at 24 at a time when getting that high involved selling a veritable shed-load of records. Over the North Sea, they loved it even more and it peaked at an astonishing Number 2 in the Dutch charts. What we were they on? Co-conspirators Paper Lace were as close as Nottingham had to pop royalty, though chart busting mega-selling singles Billy Don’t Be A Hero, The Night Chicago Died and the Black Eyed Boys were far from cool. The Beatles they weren’t. Or Bowie, Bolan or anything or anyone remotely credible. That said, they sold a whopping 17 million units worldwide, so who am I to judge? Formed in 1967 as Music Box, PL became PL in 1969, playing the clubs around the Midlands and North. They auditioned for talent- showcase Opportunity Knocks in 1970, but didn’t appear on it until ‘73.
PL’s time had really passed by ‘78 when the Forest collaboration happened.The idea came about because PL shared a manager with Cloughie. Lyrics were written to the tune of the old 1920s Gospel song, which had charted in its own right in the 1950s and also had a bit of a revival in the American folk scene of the 1960s. The new lyrics included a name check for the entire team, the only notable absentee perhaps being Frank Clark whose 19 appearances that season didn’t seem to earn him a place in this masterpiece. Maybe Frank, a half-decent guitarist by all accounts, dodged a bullet there, though he’s definitely on the bus in the photo below!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odzCxDug4P8 Song and video here
The track was recorded in a studio in Brum, the squad having jumped on a coach after training, been given a lyric sheet to learn and all done in an afternoon, rounded off with a fish and chip supper on Cloughie. Happy days.
Among the squad, there was certainly a bit of musical good taste, beyond the typical footballers’ middle of the road staples of the time. Doctor Hook always seemed to loom large in those profiles in Shoot and match programmes. Robbo had a Roxy/Ferry thing and John McGovern must’ve had a keen interest in some fairly niche stuff, judging by the two singles I’ve bought recently with his name on them: both now very collectible bits of psyche-beat by The Creation, both enscribed by the hand of an 18 year old Johnny Mac. I like to think of him having proudly taken them down a youth club in Hartlepool some time in 1967, two years into his career.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdmHWhXwvug Painter man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tl7T5GCfEL0 Making Time
Forest were kept off TOTP by the presence of Rod Stewart and the Scotland World Cup song, Ole Ola. Chorus “Ole Ola, We’re going to bring that World Cup back from over thar.” To be fair to Rod, he at least gave Archie Gemmill a mention and, whilst omitting one Kenneth Burns, also shouted out the ‘Pies Don Masson. If you’re not familiar, I’d give it a wide berth, though the lyrics are worth a look if you’re a fan of really weird rhymes that Just. Don’t. Rhyme.
Released (or escaped) in February ‘78, my memory is of the crowd parts being recorded before a home match with Man City, which must have been the 2-1 win at home in the FA Cup 4th round on the 31st January, which ties in with the recollection of it being an evening match. It must’ve been a snowy week, as only 4 scheduled 4th round ties were completed on the scheduled Saturday 28th. Whoever was leading it from pitch side at the Trent End, insisted on a chorus of “Cloughie, Cloughie, Cloughie”, despite protests that we never sang that - it was always “Brian Clough and Peter Taylor”. The “We all agree…” bit seemed to go OK and you get the classic MOK fade-out and a hilarious reference to the genius of Mike Yarwood, the stellar impressionist so good he had to always make sure to tell you just who he was ‘doing’, which was mostly just Ted Heath and Harold Wilson. Oh, and Frank Spencer. Want to alarm the over 50s? Remind them of Mike’s own singing voice. “…And this… is me…” Cue your disappointed Mam and Dad wailing, “But he’s so good at Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis Junior, how can he be so rubbish?” What’s not to like? Sorry, got diverted!
So there we are, and the song still has legs and admirers. Bizarrely, I heard it get a full, well received airing in the velodrome during the 2015 Six Days of Ghent. Admittedly, this is as much a festival of insane levels of drunkenness as much as cycling, but it still seemed a bit weird to hear thousands of Flemish voices singing along lustily “We all agree, Nottingham Forest are magic” and then going on to show a disturbingly good knowledge of the rest of the lyrics. Maybe they play it every year? I’ve also heard a year or two back it in a club in Berlin, painfully cool and way too chic to have willingly let the likes of me in, where I can only imagine it had some kitsch appeal.
But, sorry, there are more and it’s mostly downhill from PL. Kelvin, the kindly proprietor of the record shop in the West End arcade, having sold me those Creation singles, clearly now has me down as a collector of any old crap associated with Forest. Next up came a copy of an offering that makes WGT… sound like something Lennon and McCartney knocked out on a particularly inspired day. Nottingham Forest Is My Rock and Roll, by Njaal Helle is properly shocking. From its “Give us an F…” opening, weird sax breaks and honky tonk piano to “Super Red is Our Colour…” chorus and snippets of commentary from Munich, this is truly an assault on the ears. I can find out nothing about the story behind this one and, considering how little fame you need to get a Wikipedia entry, it says a lot that poor old Njaal doesn’t have one. Enigmatic or what! Anyway, bar set low on the a-side, Njaal somehow lowers it further still with the even more abysmal “Nottingham Forest Is My Soul” offering on the flip.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sB0yJqGk8I …In My Soul
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqAxoA3Ez1I … Rock and Roll
Another vinyl hunting trip, another horror courtesy of Kelvin, though at least this time he had the good grace to just give it to me. This one, an effort, of sorts, by Karl and the Heidelburgers, house oompah band at the original Bier Keller. Marching to Munich is a collaboration between KATH and Radio Trent shock-jock Chris Ashley, whose USP was that he hated Forest and who famously had to fulfil a bet to jump of Trent Bridge into the icy depths when we beat Leeds in the League Cup semi that year. You know you’re in for a rough ride, from the nasal whine of the spoke intro, Ashley’s rant about the might of Brighton and Hove Albion and the monotone “clap clap clap clap clap, clap clap clap clap” intro, cleverly performed not with claps but with euphonium parps. Unbelievably, it goes downhill from there. The parping gives way to a swaying accordian/brass Bavarian monstrosity interspersed with ‘witticisms’ from Ashley and more snippets of radio commentary. Horrible.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgwVuyeUc9Y Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
More positively, You Reds, the offering from Resistance 77, who had released two fairly credible street-punk/Oi EPs and two albums in the early to mid 80s. You Reds, which kicks off with a scratchy guitar opening to Mull of… is a nice tribute to the side of the late 80s/early 90s.Another name-call song, this one starts with Sutty, Des, Chet, Laws and Psycho and works its way through the formation, not even passing up on the formidable challenge of getting Thorvaldur Orlyggson in there (cleverly rhymed with Rice, thus simultaneously being both musical genius and a weird and fitting tribute to a pair of cult legends). Local lads, Resistance 77 are, I’m glad to report, still touring and you can find details on their website and Facebook page.
All of these and more, some much much worse, are there for your audio delectation on the “Golden Era of Nottingham Forest” playlist on Spotify, clearly a labour of love for someone made of harder stuff than yours truly. Lovely as it is to hear Cloughie’s philosophising, “You Can’t WIn Them All”, credited as JJ Barrie and Brian Clough, is truly nauseating!
If you‘re looking for a real belter (seriously) then there is. of course, Sultans of Ping FC’s mighty Give Him A Ball (And A Yard of Grass) is a loving tribute to Young Nigel, though based on a Cloughie quote about Robbo. If memory serves, this was available a a free Flexi disc with an issue of the Almighty Brian. Just by way of additional local flavour, although an Irish (Cork) band, Sultans’ seminal “Where’s Me Jumper” is reputedly based on a memorable knitwear-loss-incident in our very own and ,errr, much-loved Black Orchid nite-spot!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75jIiwqcDNQ Give Him A Ball…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxmZZBJQAKM Where’s Me Jumper?
So, that concludes this trawl. You may know of others, in which case, please don’t let me know. I can take no more!
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