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Sun 24th Oct: Forest v Fulham, a gripe about parachute payments and a medical drama at Maltby.

Updated: Oct 28, 2021

Might be a bit late to the party on this, but the weekend has made me realise that a club I have always been quite fond of are emblematic of a massive problem. Sorry if you‘re reading this and thinking, “no shit, Sherlock”!


** Post-script, Weds** After a few days thought and following various debates online, I have come to realise that Norwich are not the problem. I don’t think I ever meant it to read that way, but it probably does. Apologies. ‘Gaming’ was a bad choice of phrase. Norwich’s situation is a symptom of a knackered system and they are, in all honesty, victims of it as much as anyone else, only in a different way. Please read the following (which I’ve not edited) with that in mind, especially if you are a Norwich fan. Peace and love - I’ve come over to your side! The problem here is the system and the petro-chem clubs that are driving the massive chasm.


My problem is Norwich City, a club I’ve always rather liked in a harmless enough sort of way (apologies here to my boss, an Ipswich fan) and my dear old Dad’s team of choice before he moved (from Lowestoft) to Nottingham in the 50s. Lovely city, nice ground, distinctive and pleasing kit (apart from the pigeon shit speckled one they wore for a while). But, their current hopelessness (7-0 defeat at Chelsea yesterday) is irritating. Once upon a time, this would have elicited sympathy, but it’s different now. Norwich are a prime example of gaming the parachute payment system and, as such, an example of why the whole Premier League thing is ultimately going to kill football. OK, possible over-reaction there, but it is a worry.


Parachute payments are unique to English football. Nowhere else rewards clubs for getting relegated. Prior to 1992, TV revenue was just split between the Football League clubs; half to the First Division, 25% to the Second, 12.5% each to Divisions Three and Four. Not perfect, but fairly a equitable distribution of wealth compared to costs.


Come the Premier League, this stopped. Dead. Nada. Until 2006-7, when parachute payments were introduced, supposedly to prevent clubs with a high cost base (wages, mostly one would presume) from going into administration. Two years of payments at 55% then 45% of ‘per club’ Premier League TV money. Typically, this amounts to about 70 million over two years. Clubs that were in the Premier league for more than one season qualify for a third year at 20%.


In 2016/17, Norwich received 40.9 million. In 2017/18 a further 34 million. Remember that’s just their parachute payment, not total income. For comparison, Forest’s total income in 2018/19 was 24 million, of which 9 was TV money. Jealous? Hell, yeah!


The parachute payments skew the Championship. The current season looks likely to be dominated by Bournemouth, WBA and Fulham. Nothing against any of these, but they have a massive built-in ‘head start’ just by dint of what they did a few years ago. Norwich stomped away with it last year and presumably will do the same next season.


It doesn’t always work out of course - see Stoke, Sunderland, Huddersfield and co and, going back a bit further for the most spectacular implosion, Bolton. But these are surely more about shocking planning and management. A halfway well managed club coming down will do OK. Better than OK. And Norwich seem to be gaming this. Nothing that isn’t permitted or even encouraged, but it’s not right.


The arguments against the parachute payments go further than just the effect on the Football League. There is no incentive for Premier League clubs to develop contracts for players that have relegation clauses in them. Players can perform badly with impunity and still pick up obscene amounts of money. I suppose such clauses might mean clubs in danger of relegation might find it harder to attract players, but that’s the way it is for the rest of us.


The situation also means that getting relegated from the Premier League is no big deal. In fact, it sets you up for a fantastic season the next year. That can’t be healthy for the Premier League as much as anything else.


A solution is hard to find. One would be just to make more money available to Premier League clubs who stay up. Hardly great as this will just widen the gap further and there’s more available to pay players.


Another is to just do away with parachute payments. The Premier League clubs keep the money and players get richer. Hmmm?


Doing away with the payments would force clubs to live within their means and put a stop to the gambling the house on chasing the dream. Well, unless your owner is deranged, it would. But then, there’s plenty of those around.


The problem really is the existence of the Premier League. It’s a bloated body of unearned wealth. It adds nothing to football that wouldn’t be there anyway. Or very little. It is a separate universe to the rest of football and it will disappear up it’s own arse one day. The rest of us maybe just need to find a way to live without it.


And so to Fulham today. Another squad, propped up by parachute money, estimated value around 133 million, compared to Forest’s 44, admittedly still a shed-load of money. I do get that to readers who follow lower league clubs that 44 seems equally mad. It is. Fulham haven’t earned that wealth. It’s a legacy. A gift from the Premier League designed to ensure the status quo and keep other clubs feeding off the crumbs from the table. Can we beat them? Unlikely, but I’ll be back after the match. Right, coat on, out into the rain, COYR!


Back from the match then… and things played out much as the above would lead you to expect. 4-0. Fulham were just a bit too good all over the pitch for opponents who, let’s not forget, were wondering where a point could come from only a few weeks ago. Not too disastrous, but totally in keeping with the way football is going. Just over 27,000 hardy souls turned out again, apparently “only here cos it’s Fulham”, according to visiting supporters who haven’t managed anywhere near that as an average attendance in fifteen or sixteen years in the top division, have a current average nearly 12,000 fewer and a travelling support just under a third of the size of Forest’s 2,700+ Oh, the irony!


So, Fulham and Norwich will cross over. Fulham fans can look forward to promotion, achieving nothing in the Premier League and, on this showing - they were better than us, but not that good, odd as it may seem - coming straight back down to do it all again. Norwich, with their 168 million value squad, can do it all again too and so it goes on. Nothing whatsoever against either club; it’s more a point about the state of football.


As for the rest of Zagger’s weekend, Maltby Main came from behind to take a 4-1 win v Hemsworth Welfare, one of the NCEL strugglers. For a sense of perspective about the football itself, the match was held up for at least half an hour whilst emergency First Aid was administered to a spectator. Thankfully, it ultimately appeared that he would be OK and the officials and physios of both teams responded brilliantly. Plenty of gallows humour about the dangers of consuming the Bovril and an alarming moment when Jim the groundsman appeared on the scene wielding a crowbar, but all in good taste. Unlike the Bovril.


Over the North Sea, Effzeh carved out a 2-2 draw at home to Leverkusen in the Derby-that-isn’t-the-Gladbach-Derby, but is always feverishly anticipated and enjoyed/suffered. For many Köln fans, myself included, Lev are the epitome of modern corporate football, being effectively a walking advert for Bayer Pharmaceuticals and financed by dirty money, estimated 28 million Euros a year. In fairness, if I absolutely must, Bayer have a much longer history and genuine background than the likes of RB, starting life ‘organically enough’ as the Bayer works team, hence the nickname Werkself. Whatever, they have punched above their weight for a long time now and this rankles only a few km away in Köln too, where a much bigger club have never reached the same heights, especially in Europe. Still, as seems to be be becoming the theme of this blog, there’s more to life than success on the pitch; nice as that is, it is ultimately limited to a handful of clubs. History, culture, sense of pride and belonging, players putting in a decent shift, watchable football, the odd glimmer of hope… these all matter too.


And to finish with, a lovely double rainbow over the WFCG and Netherfield after the match today. See, life’s not all doom and gloom. COYR and onto QPR on Friday!



(1st photo my own, 2nd courtesy of David Marples, @DavidMarples)







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